The Bone
10-06-2004, 01:48 PM
LONG ISLAND BARBIES
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie dolls for the Long Island market:
(this is Suffolk Version)
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Patchogue Barbie - This modern day retro Barbie comes with 2 teeth, acid washed jeans, leg warmers, white Reeboks, feathered hair & a double ring belt (yes, it is 2004). She also comes with Ken, her brother/boyfriend, complete with house arrest bracelet &Dodge Neon. Parole officer sold separately.
Brentwood Barbie - This Spanish speaking only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates & 4 baby Barbies in the backseat (no car seats). The optional Ken doll comes with a paint bucketlunch pail & is missing 3 fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for Brentwood Barbie or Ken.
Wyandanch Barbie - This B arbie comes with hoop earrings, hair weave, food stamps, a bus pass, a search warrant, & a court date. She also comes with 3 babies & 3 different Ken's (Baby's Daddies). Each Ken comes with his own bag of weed (sold separately & on a street corner).
Nisseqogue/Bell Terre Barbie - This princess Barbie is only sold at
Saks Fifth Avenue. She comes with an assortment of Coach handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, & a 3500-square foot house. Available with or without tummy tuck & face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Selden Barbie - This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan & matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily & has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone included, headset so ld separately.
Hampton Bays Barbie - This recently paroled former "Porn Actress"
Barbie comes with a Chevy with dark tinted windows, & a meth-lab kit. This model is only available after dark & can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
Setauket Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, & country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken & Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Riverhead Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, & Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light & a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5' & kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately & get a Confede rate Flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Port Jefferson Barbie - This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie
wears a leopard print bikini outfit & drinks cosmopolitans while
entertaining friends at the McMansion. Percocet prescription available.
Ronkonkoma Barbie - This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel
from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Bristol Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, & a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Huntington Barbie - This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long
straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, &
Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase 2 Huntington Barbies & the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
Deer Park Barbie - This Italian Princess Barbie comes with teased
black hair, 12 gold chains, 7 gold bracelets, 8 rings & 1 ankle
bracelet. Included are a permanently attached cell phone & a black Monte Carlo with ILUVTONY license plates. The accompanying Ken doll has been replaced with a black haired Tony doll with hairy chest & gel/hairdryer kit.
Fire Island Barbie - Used to be Fire Island Ken, but got a sex change
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie dolls for the Long Island market:
(this is Suffolk Version)
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Patchogue Barbie - This modern day retro Barbie comes with 2 teeth, acid washed jeans, leg warmers, white Reeboks, feathered hair & a double ring belt (yes, it is 2004). She also comes with Ken, her brother/boyfriend, complete with house arrest bracelet &Dodge Neon. Parole officer sold separately.
Brentwood Barbie - This Spanish speaking only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates & 4 baby Barbies in the backseat (no car seats). The optional Ken doll comes with a paint bucketlunch pail & is missing 3 fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for Brentwood Barbie or Ken.
Wyandanch Barbie - This B arbie comes with hoop earrings, hair weave, food stamps, a bus pass, a search warrant, & a court date. She also comes with 3 babies & 3 different Ken's (Baby's Daddies). Each Ken comes with his own bag of weed (sold separately & on a street corner).
Nisseqogue/Bell Terre Barbie - This princess Barbie is only sold at
Saks Fifth Avenue. She comes with an assortment of Coach handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, & a 3500-square foot house. Available with or without tummy tuck & face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Selden Barbie - This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan & matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily & has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone included, headset so ld separately.
Hampton Bays Barbie - This recently paroled former "Porn Actress"
Barbie comes with a Chevy with dark tinted windows, & a meth-lab kit. This model is only available after dark & can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
Setauket Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, & country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken & Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Riverhead Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, & Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light & a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5' & kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately & get a Confede rate Flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Port Jefferson Barbie - This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie
wears a leopard print bikini outfit & drinks cosmopolitans while
entertaining friends at the McMansion. Percocet prescription available.
Ronkonkoma Barbie - This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel
from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Bristol Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, & a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Huntington Barbie - This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long
straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, &
Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase 2 Huntington Barbies & the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
Deer Park Barbie - This Italian Princess Barbie comes with teased
black hair, 12 gold chains, 7 gold bracelets, 8 rings & 1 ankle
bracelet. Included are a permanently attached cell phone & a black Monte Carlo with ILUVTONY license plates. The accompanying Ken doll has been replaced with a black haired Tony doll with hairy chest & gel/hairdryer kit.
Fire Island Barbie - Used to be Fire Island Ken, but got a sex change